


Minion

by ThatSoChangeableChick



Category: Naruto
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-28
Updated: 2013-09-28
Packaged: 2017-12-27 20:38:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/983346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatSoChangeableChick/pseuds/ThatSoChangeableChick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Itachi is at a loss on what to think. Here was Deidera, casual-bomber, completely enamored with a stray mongrel in need of medical attention. It's a side he has never seen before on the blond. And, regretfully, Itachi also becomes enamors to said casual-bomber and willing deserter. Itachi blames Minion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Minion

**Author's Note:**

> A little impromptu one-shot. Any feedback would be glorious :)

Itachi awoke early, much earlier than then the incessant chirps of birds, or the glare of dawning sun. A strong pot of tea had already slicked down his throat when the first rays hit the marble counter he sat upon. His lumbering blue partner had staggered down the stairs a few moments later, grumbling over his hang over. He had proceeded to shove Itachi off the counter so he could scrimmage the medicine cabinet. Itachi smirked while allowing him to do so.

Itachi slid his ebony locks from his face, and proceeded for his morning stroll. The forest was an enchanting palace when the world arose. The rustle of crusting leaves the strange squirm of critters wriggling from his path and the squawks of newborn chicks; it was all very comforting in its unobtrusive glory. Well that was until he heard a familiar voice snarling; "Just leave it!"

A frown smoothed from his brow, Itachi swept forward with a billow of his cloak to hear the retort. "Go suck a dick Danna!" Aah, so the tight duo had returned. With a swift leap, he towered beside the hunched form of Sasori – who immediately glowered at him. He shot him an unimpressed eye roll.

"You deal with him," Sasori waddled through the trunks; Itachi believed he had intended for a stalk but a puppet of his size just didn't accommodate. The profanities grumbled though had Itachi's lips twitching.

Itachi surveyed the hunched form of the teen; his golden hair was swept across his rigid shoulders. His twitching fingers were darting over a prone, inhuman form. "Deidera." He received no acknowledgment, so Itachi came to stand beside his kneeling figure. Before Deidera a mauled mongrel lay on its side, heaving wet gasps as blood pooled on Deidera's knees. The teen was clearly attempting to resuscitate the poor creature. Itachi felt a twinge of sorrow in his chest, and promptly ignored it. "Deidera."

Deidera snapped to glare at him, something which was highly deterred by the overly glazed value of his azure eyes. He tilted his head; he had never perceived that someone else in the Akatsuki had such a conscience. The news pleased him. Deidera's words did not. "What ass-face!?"

Itachi stifled an exasperated eye roll. "My face is anything but an ass, from the amount of times you have pouted over it. I had thought you were well of aware of my charming features." Of course his speech was delivered in monotone, and as intended, Deidera blinked hugely, and then he shot Itachi a broken grin. Itachi once more stifled his own smile.

The blond fists were still clenched in his knees; his eyes became downtrodden to the heaving mutts. Then, quite suddenly, he wrapped bloodied fingers in his cloak and yanked. Itachi's prowess was the only thing that saved him from a nasty smear of crimson in his face. "You know how to heal right? Or at least your eyes do." Itachi licked his lips, pondering his next course of action. Would assisting the fellow young Akatsuki be detrimental to his image? Probably, would he be able to handle guiding another life to deaths door? Probably not, especially for a creature so humbly loyal.

So Itachi, with the darkest scowl he could muster on a blank façade, knelt beside the blond. Deidera snickered, pressing shaking fingers to the dogs' side where an offensively crude slit marred his fur scarlet. He realized Deidera was embracing his own masks, and that served to relax him somewhat. They both knew the consequences to reputation should the news of their kindness spread in the wind. But they both still wanted to help. Itachi silently prodded the heaving pup's neck, the indigo tongue twitched from where it lolled upon the forest foliage.

The pulse was weak at best, but Itachi could sense the determination to live thrumming through the pups veins. And he began to work. He instructed Deidera's scarlet fingers to hold skin, pressurize gaps, and check pulses while his hands glowed mint. Many a time did his fingers slip, but with fiery determination did Deidera take to his tasks. Not once did he complain, except for the muffled grunt and jar of Itachi's shoulder when Itachi complimented his ability to nurse.

Whence the wounds had faded to moonlight scars, and the blood dared not pool. Itachi retrieved his scarlet palms, and smiled at his handiwork. At the easier pump of the dogs' lungs, Deidera chuckled breathlessly. He jutted his elbow into Itachi's arm, his crooked grin, and practically sparkling eyes, told Itachi he had made the right decision. "Look at you, mongrel savior." Okay, maybe not a perfect decision. "With a heart and good will and shit…" Itachi rolled his eyes in retort.

Deidera was surprisingly tender while attempting to cradle the pup in his arms. It included much hoisting, several jolts but finally he was pleased, and slipped onto his haunches, to rise shakily to his feet. Itachi steadied his elbow, when he pitched forward. "Please attempt not to crush the mongrel." The blond snickered something along the lines of 'mutt savior' laced with profanities, as per usual. Itachi allowed this without reprieve.

They backtracked through the forest without incident expect when Deidera nearly trudged on a bushy tail of fox, said fox rightfully scurried away with a yelp. Deidera practically ordered/begged Itachi to retrieve some blankets and pillows for the mongrel, and Itachi did so, only because he did not want his hard work flushed down the clunker. With a duo of old pillows and a patchwork blanket which had arrived with the house, Itachi returned to Deidera's room. Where the blond was impatiently shifting on his heels, and fidgeting with the limp body in his arms. "Here, in the corner…" Deidera jerked his head to gesture.

Itachi complied, swiftly moving away when Deidera fell to his knees beside the bundle and lays the prone form onto the makeshift nest. Deidera fussed over the dog for a long while and Itachi could not help the smile or the comprehension that for an enthusiastic bomber, Deidera was an overwhelming mother-hen. "She needs to rest Deidera." With that Itachi skedaddled with as much poise as possible from the blond room. And hoped fervently he hadn't sounded too amorous.

**o0o**

Head endorsed in a novel, Itachi really hadn't expected to hear a wailed plead. He slipped his glasses into the drawer beside his bed, bookmarked his page, slid from his mattress and padded into the hallway. As it was night, most were asleep; his partners' earth shattering snores vibrated the walls. Itachi quickly cast a silencing jutsu and he finally heard snarls with a mixture of whimpers, rolling his eyes he wandered into the room opposite his.

Deidera was in a position reminiscent of Muslim prayers, gold splayed over his shoulders. And once more his eyes were glistening with tears. How the blond garnered merriment and mirth from destruction and devastation was beyond him. Since the snarls of the angry mongrel lowered him into a mushy goo softie. "-not going to hurt you! I fuckin' swear, I helped you-"

"Actually that was me, you poked him," he said helpfully, closing the door behind him. The mongrel whimpered a snarl, backtracking as much as it could into the puffy pillow.

"Shut it Uchiha! Would you fuckin' help me with this?" Deidera gestured madly to the snarling mongrel. It's glinting brown eyes were lit with panic, face contorted with menace. Itachi would have been more impressed, if the pup's coat wasn't flaked with crusted blood.

Itachi swept further beside the crumbled teen. "Since you said please," he said dryly. "Shouting at her didn't help." Deidera scowled at him, thumping him on the hip in a show of violent petulance. Itachi's lips quirked; carefully he lowered to kneel in front of the pup, and scrutinized its stance. "She obviously recognizes us," Deidera eagerly crawled forward to plop beside him, but that was only after a suspicious sniffle, "as the enemy that is. Probably a ninja's dog, Konoha's the closest village to here." He turned to Deidera, whose smooth cheeks were a wee damp. Itachi ignored the warm appreciative flutter in his chest. "We healed you pup," he addressed the dog, whose blood flecked ears twitched, "and we have no reason to harm you. Once you've healed completely, you may return to your rightful owner."

"Oi!" Deidera was pouting rather viciously, arms crossed, "I look-fine! We looked after her, where was her precious owner then?" Itachi rolled his eyes, smoothened the front of his woolen jumper. Deidera looked positively his age, gold wild, azure alight and dressed in only plaid pajama pants and a rumbled gray shirt. It was rather discerning to note that he was not much older than Deidera, but likely resembled an old coot aside him.

"Probably just as injured," he assessed, "and probably concerned of her whereabouts. As soon as she can travel you are to allow her off the perimeter, without hauling her back." Deidera punched his shoulder; Itachi pitched forward but rolled his eyes all the same.

Rather impishly Deidera folded his arms. "Then we'll just have to make her want to stay." Itachi was about to dryly point out they were missing-nin prone to traveling and murdering and probably not the best companions for a loyal ninja mongrel. Instead he realized that the dull thump was of the mutts' tail against another pillow. Apparently it rather enjoyed their conversation as one would a clown's performance. "'Ey, you like that girl?" what proceeded is scarring to tell.

In much apprehension the mutt allows Deidera forward, until her leg is thrumming against the ground and she is nipping playfully at his petting fingers. The scarring part is how much joy Deidera seems to take from the simple action of stroking a dog. His whole visage turns playful, and many a time does he cackle, coddle and caper the pup. It would be endearing if not for the puzzled shock it bestows upon Itachi. This was a willing deserter; he couldn't possibly enjoy the simple act of caring for a dog so much.

Then again, it was Deidera, and he was barely younger than Itachi.

He briefly managed to catch the end of Deidera's sentence, "-bath, yeah. A nice hot bath, to get you all dolly again. Comin' assface?" Despite Deidera less than inviting words, Itachi does. He holds the adjourned bathroom door open for Deidera and the pup in his arms, retrieves soaps that will not agitate the dogs skin. Something Deidera had not foreseen as a problem, so Itachi had to snatch his jelly-shampooed hand before he could slather the mutt. Deidera surprisingly washed his hands from the gel quickly, scampering back over to his side at the bathtub's rim.

The mutt was much livelier that earlier, it's tails still thrumming against the tiles. Itachi outstretched to turn on the water, the shower cap in his hands. "You soap, I'll rinse." With much merriment Deidera agreed, white soap fizzling into his palm. "Gently," he reminded, Deidera pouted but scrubbed as told, into the mongrel's fur.

In the end, it takes three-quarters of the shampoo to completely bleed the scarlet from her fur. Itachi had been forced to slick Deidera's hair in a messy bun, because the amount of times he spat gold from his mouth was detrimental to his health. And had retaliated from many crude words with jetting water in Deidera's face, and received many thumps for his effort. Safe to say Itachi was in dire need of a shower. The entire bath smelt of wet dog, and it was not the most appealing of scents. So when the dog had been wrapped in a towel, and properly snuggled. Deidera lifted the mutt to his chest, and left the room after receiving a grateful, slobbery kiss on his jaw. Itachi had fanned the mongrel's blankets from crusted blood and filth, and the mutt was deposited in its nest, much cheerier than earlier.

Itachi and Deidera exchange a pleased and proud glance; and Itachi immediately excuses himself with a mild compliment to Deidera's mother-hen qualities. A pillow is tossed at his back, but being the worthy ninja he is. It only picks a short smirk to his lips.

**o0o**

"You think she got a name?" Itachi shots a depreciated look from behind his book, but Deidera merely plops onto the sofa beside him. The blond settles the mongrel to his other side, giving the mutt most the room and squeezing Itachi into the sofa's arm. He cannot find it in him to protest when adoring brown eyes plead for attention. Instead he ignores it.

He exhales heavily to demonstrate his annoyance. "Why don't you ask her?" he begins re-reading his paragraph but it refuses to solidify. Especially as Deidera jabbers endlessly to the mongrel, in a fashion usually persevered for one's own children. All the while Deidera is beholding that crooked grin, which tells Itachi the blond knows exactly how much he had disrupted him. "You're going to spoil her," he assures.

That crooked grin elongates to twinkle in his blue eyes, shifting and jostling in his position until a lean thigh and knobby knee is situated over Itachi's lap. In return, Itachi winces behind his novel, a curdling of something tight in his heart. What does the blond think he is doing? "That is what I want assface," it takes a moment for his alleged genius mind to comprehend what he is referring too. "Then she'll have to fuckin' stay, won't yah?" Deidera immediately scrambles with the mutt, jabbering playfully.

The blond cackles and Itachi pinches the bridge of his nose once his glasses are removed. "You realize we cannot keep her?" by the puzzled quality of blue eyes it is obvious he does not realize this. Always voice of logic, Itachi sets his book aside and begins to lecture. "We're only in a temporary residence, we travel more often than not over vast-" Deidera elbows him hard, and Itachi glowers at the blond for interrupting him.

Blind to Itachi's indignation, the blond crosses his arm and lifts his snubbed nose. "Oh suck a dick Uchiha, she's a ninja dog," he patted the mongrels head in his lap, adoring eyes surveyed the both of them with amusement. Itachi objected to being a source of mirth for a mutt, but regretfully his opinion was not taken into account. "She can fuckin' keep up with a stampede of cheetah she can defiantly keep up with, what is - I admit - a spectacular ass."

Itachi cannot smother his laughter; the blond seems rather amused and irritated by his reaction. "Spectacular?" Deidera's crooked grin sparkles, and he nudges Itachi lightly, with a shy glance at the maw in his lap.

"I fuckin' guarantee it." A curse is Itachi's one coherent thought he will admit to possessing. But he does not, in any way or form, begin to imagine proceedings involving said spectacular arse, and the vulgar word. Itachi unwinds his shoulder, trying not to lick his dry lips.

The blond exuberantly tousles with the mutt, jabbering the entire while, and bouncing his knee on Itachi's thigh. Itachi diligently ignores it; he even briefly considers the blond doesn't know what he is doing. Then Deidera nestles against Itachi's side, the golden hair tickling his semi-stubble, and worms across his collar. Itachi ignores this with equal diligence, as in to say, someone with his level of self-control should have been more successful. "I think I am going to call her Minion."

Itachi gives a gratified snicker, for the distraction, but all he can really muster as a witty comeback is; "What?"

Deidera seems appeased with his decision, ruffling, the newly named Minion's' ash and chocolate fur. Thankfully, Itachi is not the only one who is peering at Deidera as if he had proclaimed his love for the Hokage, and her eternal bosoms. "Yeah, it'll make a nice name. Got plenty of variations, Minosh, Minnie, it also chews in the mouth well. Minion, Minion…" Much to Itachi's growing horror Deidera begins dictating the name in varying sensual accents. After a particularly curled name breathed across his neck, Itachi flees the room in the most dignified of manners. In an attempt to diffuse the hasty thrum of blood tightening across his ribcage, and a little lower south.

In hindsight, he should have recalled to bring his book and glasses, because while relaxing inside an impromptu shower. Deidera had found home splayed across his bed, Minion curled to slumber in his side. On his nose perched Itachi's glasses, and in his hands, open to the world was Itachi's book. "How the fuck can you read this crap?" Itachi feels a calming thrum through his veins, not at the sight heaven-forbid, and hides his appeased smile.

"Get out of my room Deidera," his tone is a bit softer then warranted and Deidera merely snorts. Itachi hadn't expected any different and turns his back to riffle through his drawers for clothes and to hide the quirk of elation, at the recognition to the familiarity. It had been a long while since he had been suitable comfortable around another soul. His clothes were deposited at the head of his bed, and Itachi snatched his book from the snooping blond's slim fingers. "I didn't expect you to understand the art of literature," the rise explicated was expected and welcome.

It took approximately three entire hours for them both to wind down from their bickering. Somewhere it had diverged to Itachi's obsession of tea, Deidera's clay figurine collection and then, they reminisced the flood in the Ame's HQ basement and the impromptu Akatsuki food fight that followed the accusations. At last, the cold had wriggled onto Itachi's skin, and the arm holding his towel, ached. So he snatched his glasses from Deidera's nose, grabbed his clothes and shooed Deidera from his room.

In retaliation Deidera grumbled more or less along the lines of; "shy bastard" and stormed from his room. Minion still observing from behind her paws and Itachi shoots her a consoling glance, before he leaves to change in the shower.

**o0o**

The next month, when the day comes that Minion is able to complete her twentieth lap round the house, is the day blue eyes become suspiciously bright. Itachi had been finishing a light training session, perspiration sticking to his drenched workout clothes when he had heard the muffled grunt. He had staggered to his feet, picking his drenched locks from his neck and gathered as much poise as possible. The sight soon to accompany him when he turns the corner is less then dignified.

Deidera's wiry arms are practically suffocating Minion, eyes scrunched in agony and shoulders rigid until the minute quivers. Minion is yipping consolingly, urging him forward from her position over his shoulder. Itachi is already kneeling beside them, "Deidera." Instead of the recognition, the blond wrenches away from Minion and begins to suffocate him.

The offers of comforts and tea dies on his lips, and gently his stiff shoulders relax and he wraps an arm around the convulsing back and gently soothes the solid side. When Deidera finally pulls back, sniffling madly and eyes raw it is to whine; "You stink Uchiha…" Itachi doesn't hold back his laughter, or his smirk.

"I apologize when in need of condolence I'll call Kisame for you," this is followed by a sharp rap in his bicep. "Aah, abusive too." He muses entirely to his own, while he helps Deidera stand to his feet. The blond is glowering at him but it lacks any fire, only indignation and suspicion.

"You're annoyingly nice, Uchiha." Just as Itachi intended, the raw blues are glinting again. Itachi pets Minion on the head, receives a gratified lick, and waltzes into the house, to quench the dire need for a shower.

That day forward he is no longer referred to as Uchiha, rather Itachi or frequently visited ass-face. Itachi is uncertain if it is an improvement or not, mostly because it shows itself in the following form. "Assface! Get out the fuckin' shower and use what your papa gave you!" Of course, in that moment, he was at a loss at exactly what Deidera is referring too and of course, as any post-horny teen, his thoughts immediately fall into debauchery.

Itachi succumbs to the pounding on the bathroom door, wrapped in a towel he manages to score his elitist glare. Regretfully it promptly fails due to the suspiciously bright quality of Deidera's blue eyes, and he exhales deeply. "What do you want?" Deidera rubs his twitching nose.

Carefully the blond leans toward him, warm breath hitting his ear and a shiver of pleasure rustles down his spine. "I need you to, uhm," Itachi's breath halts in his chest, he can't mean…"I need you to use your red eye things to compel Minion to stay." Itachi slams the door in his face. This time his shower lasts much, _much_ longer than earlier.

**o0o**

It is the following day Deidera's most horrific nightmares come alive. He coddles Minion constantly, promising her company for the rest of his explosive life in the silent of the before-coming night. Itachi had been sipping a cup of water, and had paused to listen. It had been a private moment, one of weakness but he doesn't halt the tender smile rising to his lips. The blond had defiantly grown on him.

Itachi is compelled to hold Deidera's shoulders once Minion professes her farewells in a mixture of licks and nuzzles, before she scampers into the forest's underbrush. Deidera shoves him away, storms back into the house, and goes into lockdown in his room. Itachi had abandoned him to it, and after five silent hours he knocks upon the door. There is muffled answer, a fizzle of something and then a muttered curse.

Itachi opens the door and enters into overturned booze joint. "Deidera?"

The blond is seated in one corner, molding his clay into various canine forms. It would have been charming if not for the explosive quality. "'sleve me a-lone…" It is obvious the blond had turned to the bottle. Deidera had taken to Minion's departure detrimentally but Itachi cannot fathom why. And, honestly, Itachi finds endearment in the hidden tender qualities of the blond. So, with his alleged insanity showing, Itachi parks beside his crush and his miniature bombs.

Deidera snuggles into his side, his hazy gaze hitting Itachi with the most peculiar expression. "so kni'ce 'Tachi…" the blond pats his stubbled jaw twice with sloppy, callus fingers.

Itachi chuckles softly, a tight flutter buzzing in his chest, preceded with calm clouds fogging responsibilities and duty. Itachi knows enough to recognize the emotion, but does not dare to name it. Instead he drapes the mussed gold hair over Deidera's shoulder, wrapping a consoling arm round the blond. The solid form presses into his side, nuzzling an angular jaw into his collar. "I s'had a doug once," Deidera skims callous fingers at the end of Itachi's shirt, until he is playing with the dip in his shirt at his back "He's die, papa 'sno like doug," a wet heat slid onto his collar, and mournful hazy blues closed for slumber.

And suddenly it made sense, the force of which Deidera had reacted to a broken, mangled mongrel. To how heavily he had reverted to his youth, and why, in all of it, Deidera might have escaped his village. Itachi rested his chin upon the matted blond locks, scenting dry clay, spice of explosive and tears. And he admits, in the folds of his own troubled mind while he soothes circles into Deidera's back that he can finally name the emotion welling inside his chest. It's love.

**o0o**

**o0o**

He breathed a sigh of relief when his missing pup wandered into the clearing. He greeted her cheerily, and she sagged into his side, completely spent. There were thin pinpricks' scars beneath her smooth fur. Kakashi would not hesitate to thank the souls who healed her.

 


End file.
